tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84961493303678684922024-02-07T08:30:39.667-08:00Living With NarwhalsMissScriptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08354800415777114179noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8496149330367868492.post-43467837734582886582013-07-14T01:28:00.001-07:002013-07-15T18:38:34.334-07:00Narwhal Spotting: Orange is the New Black<span style="font-size: large;">Narwhals,</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'd like to say I've had another productive weekend of writing, networking, and fighting against the patriarchy. Ya know, typical weekend stuff. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spoiler Alert: I didn't nail it.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But that would be a big fat lie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've been binge-watching <i>Orange is the New Black </i>on Netflix<i>. </i>And<i> </i>I think I found my new favorite show.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgruAc76QqJQfrjArspXf4pI4KLnpyX6vBzWDopSn05mY45owOWODJM4VgwwXT_VrT5a89C8JAXrPTIt9er_8vbAH-lVfrdr2GlAotRCp2ZCn3feTJ9fBvI658U_ziFAmxqpUqsdcMyBg8/s1600/orange.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgruAc76QqJQfrjArspXf4pI4KLnpyX6vBzWDopSn05mY45owOWODJM4VgwwXT_VrT5a89C8JAXrPTIt9er_8vbAH-lVfrdr2GlAotRCp2ZCn3feTJ9fBvI658U_ziFAmxqpUqsdcMyBg8/s1600/orange.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">OITNB tells the story of Piper, a preppy, upper class New Yorker who is sentenced to 15 months in prison on a decade-old drug trafficking charge.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Based on the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Orange-Is-New-Black-Womens/dp/0385523394">eponymous memoir</a> by Piper Kerman, the show follows our heroine as she arrives at and acclimates to life in Litchfield prison. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And guess what? Girlfriend is a narwhal!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Piper is engaged to Larry, played by Jason Biggs. (</span>Sidebar: every guy I dated in college and my early twenties looked like Jason Biggs. What can I say, I know my way around a Jewish fraternity!)</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Would you like to accompany me to the AEPhi mixer?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But prior to Larry, Piper was in a relationship with Alex (Laura Prepon), a rockabilly, drug smuggling lesbian who is also serving time at Litchfield.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Free Donna Pinciotti!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In the pilot episode, Piper tells her family that she "used to be a lesbian." Yawn...we've seen this character before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> But hold off on the sad trombone solo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Unlike other shows that whitewash and downplay a bi character's same-sex relationships, OITNB doesn't treat this as a passing phase. </span></div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnRORSQMvFWJ_DKFogA0dl10oqy5ZbIziVxSdloZqfW6agVcED_N9YaMtQHuAfi97-boLLQISovKRC5vTsxDlAdwUcPSNzMZCvoDK_ogg1WaJ0qqhVvGSXvdU6AmYwuh7TVTXKRV2X-Y/s1600/orange3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnRORSQMvFWJ_DKFogA0dl10oqy5ZbIziVxSdloZqfW6agVcED_N9YaMtQHuAfi97-boLLQISovKRC5vTsxDlAdwUcPSNzMZCvoDK_ogg1WaJ0qqhVvGSXvdU6AmYwuh7TVTXKRV2X-Y/s1600/orange3.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Praying for a decent bisexual storyline.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">We see flashbacks of Piper and Alex's relationship, and it's given the same depth and weight as her relationship with Larry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">That, in and of itself, is pretty groundbreaking. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A bisexual lead character who, while she may not self identify as such, is rare. </span><span style="font-size: large;">And a show that treats this identity with consideration and respect is exceedingly rare. Todd VanDerWerff from The A.V. Club <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/orange-is-the-new-black,99887/">articulates it</a> perfectly: </span><br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.6875px;">"Orange Is The New Black</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.6875px;"> is also wonderfully insightful and complex when it comes to sex, notably Piper’s complicated sexual history. The crime that landed her in prison was smuggling drug money to help the girlfriend she had straight out of college (Laura Prepon). Though Piper is now engaged to a man and about to open the most upper-class white person business one could think of (selling designer soaps), her complicated, dangerous past and her lesbian relationship aren’t treated as flings. They’re treated as integral parts of her being that she’d hoped to set aside but finds resurfacing once she’s in prison and forced to confront the full weight of her past. Bisexual women are too often presented in fiction as women who are simply waiting to meet the right guy, but </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.6875px;">Orange Is The New Black</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.6875px;"> understands how complicated this all can be. Piper really loved her ex-girlfriend; she really loves Larry. Both of those emotions are genuine, and neither is more genuine than the other. Her stint in prison, then, becomes less about owning up to something she did and more about accepting who she was and still is, in all its messy pieces. "</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">People are losing their minds over this show and it's easy to see why. It's an unparalleled, complicated look at the lives of women: women of varied ethnicity, social class, body type, sexuality and gender presentation. It's a show that passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. The already overwhelming response shows something we've all known for awhile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Women's stories need to be told. And people need to hear them. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Bertolt Brecht said, "art is not a mirror to reflect reality, but a hammer with which to shape it.” </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Who needs a hammer when you have a contraband screw driver?</span></div>
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<br />MissScriptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08354800415777114179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8496149330367868492.post-86400010113193258022013-07-04T20:02:00.000-07:002013-07-04T20:02:44.861-07:00Current Working Rules for Relationships<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I am a work in progress. Here is the progress report.</div>
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<u><br /></u></div>
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<u>What I Want From a Relationship, in No Particular Order:</u></div>
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I want to live a
big life, full of adventure.</div>
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I want to travel. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I want to feel free. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I don’t want to lose myself in
compromise but I want to respect what you want to do as well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I want to do
things that scare me. </div>
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I want to be who I am at all times. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I want to be in the present. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I don’t want to feel guilt for things I cannot
change.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I don’t want to fix things that don’t need fixing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I don’t want to feel inadequate, even if I am. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I don’t want to make
decisions based in fear.</div>
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I don’t want to be stifled.</div>
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I don’t want to be molded. </div>
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I want to be respected. </div>
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I want things that are just mine.</div>
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I want you to have things that are just yours. </div>
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<u><br /></u></div>
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<u>Promises I Will Try to Keep, in no Particular Order:</u></div>
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I will no longer be afraid of rocking the boat or starting shit.</div>
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I will fight fair.</div>
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I will love fiercely and faithfully. </div>
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I will recognize that
not all of my needs can be met in a single, solitary person, nor can theirs within me. </div>
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I don’t want either of us to have to give up
the things we love and cherish and value because of what the other might think
or fear about them. </div>
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I don’t want us to change in ways we don’t want to change. </div>
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I don’t want to be told what to do, unless I’m doing something the wrong way. </div>
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Then
tell me. </div>
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<u>On Raising Children, if it Happens:</u></div>
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I don’t want to raise our children to believe that all
rules/authority should not be questioned. </div>
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A little rebellion is a good thing.</div>
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They will rebel from us, in new and interesting ways that haven’t even occurred
to us. </div>
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I don't want our children to think they are born with some
sort of original sin or source of guilt about themselves or their bodies. </div>
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I do not want to make the mistakes my parents
made. </div>
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I do not want to make the mistakes your parents made. </div>
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I want us to be
honest with each other when we think the other is making mistakes with our
kids. </div>
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I don’t want to fight in front of our kids, but accept that it will
probably happen at some point. </div>
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I want to be honest with our kids.</div>
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I want us to
expect the best from our kids, whatever that may be. </div>
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I want them to have the
freedom to be themselves. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
If they want to dress as Jedi knights or pretty
pretty princesses I want them to be able to…but they can’t run around naked if
we are going out/have company. </div>
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Also, even Jedi knights can’t bring their
lightsabers to the dinner table.</div>
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I want discipline without oppression.</div>
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I want good manners, respect, and no back-talking. I</div>
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want to trust them to make
the right decisions when they reach that age. </div>
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I want to expose them to the big
beautiful and scary world.</div>
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<u>On Monogamy:</u></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will be attracted to other
people. </div>
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That’s just biology. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Don’t take it personally.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will not act on it,
out of love, respect, and satisfaction with you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will not be a dick about it
in front of you and go “woo, look at how hot that girl/guy is!” because that is
poor form. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will do everything in my power to ensure that you feel loved and
secure…but you need to feel that way about yourself as well. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;">There will always be insecurity on both sides
and we will just have to deal with it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;">I promise, we will deal with it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will keep open communication with you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will be transparent with you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
But please don’t try to know
everything.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I’m allowed my secrets and you are allowed yours. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
These don’t have
to be big scary secrets.</div>
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They are just little things that are allowed to be just
yours or just mine. </div>
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<u>Lastly:</u></div>
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<u><br /></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will take care of myself. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I will take care of you, if you
let me. </div>
MissScriptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08354800415777114179noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8496149330367868492.post-27528984169785422992013-07-04T19:44:00.001-07:002013-07-04T20:03:15.823-07:00What The Fuck Is A Narwhal?!<span style="font-size: large;">Hey Internet: </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have a confession. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yeah, I know you must get these a lot. Some are shot anonymously into comments sections. Some are tossed into our discourse by trolls. And some are scrawled in cramped handwriting onto homemade postcards and sent off to Germantown, Maryland. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But here's one more to toss onto the ever-growing pile: </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm obsessed with narwhals. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYAnvtbTfMB_EysKLMNQB0n9rCH1y-UyVBgJGydZGcT_1NmWSzZ_Et2YDP4M53vjEjF5tG5TG4JgeDOzxL6rpo45FyU4CkJ01AdZ4u2zCjRRZ3PeYdC_7USd4LDAg-5W4fs4vscF9k5vk/s392/narwhal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYAnvtbTfMB_EysKLMNQB0n9rCH1y-UyVBgJGydZGcT_1NmWSzZ_Et2YDP4M53vjEjF5tG5TG4JgeDOzxL6rpo45FyU4CkJ01AdZ4u2zCjRRZ3PeYdC_7USd4LDAg-5W4fs4vscF9k5vk/s320/narwhal.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Shut up, I'm serious.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> Look at them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf4ZWaqUdwK87NUodgRBKIHB4K9KnxM3z55vj4oFOKFZbg0ytPfOsELA126kluXLFvGkKpPcFAoRZtgevNYM47qKanqBlT4qFDOMBRE6T-JOXY63nI8VvWRdO9Dkh8aQ2II7HeboTJJRk/s800/narwhal1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf4ZWaqUdwK87NUodgRBKIHB4K9KnxM3z55vj4oFOKFZbg0ytPfOsELA126kluXLFvGkKpPcFAoRZtgevNYM47qKanqBlT4qFDOMBRE6T-JOXY63nI8VvWRdO9Dkh8aQ2II7HeboTJJRk/s320/narwhal1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">FUCKING LOOK AT THEM. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwsQ-Z8QVZqTgUvGusnmBf9PotSZ10owFs0cJus7W-ZYfiITlsJ08hB87Jn_n167GWF567aqFFmZXQpiFktqLjF0vuwGVzciGbuvN47rEdHQmNIBTLLCcnhN3zGfbYi050sVecAO0Pb6A/s280/narwhal2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwsQ-Z8QVZqTgUvGusnmBf9PotSZ10owFs0cJus7W-ZYfiITlsJ08hB87Jn_n167GWF567aqFFmZXQpiFktqLjF0vuwGVzciGbuvN47rEdHQmNIBTLLCcnhN3zGfbYi050sVecAO0Pb6A/s280/narwhal2.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Narwhals are amazing. They look unreal. They look like mythical creatures. Seriously, if <i>Game of Thrones </i>doesn't end with Daenerys Targaryen storming Westeros on the back of a narwhal I will be very disappointed.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd7cCqgWVYWcthCQvfhm4ZZgV7roDM_BpzQtYCVrA2z6wjT2U2dHEbVefNI6z5xgTFxzxnTv4Ld3ylnI_BygrNd6_EWHdrHN0Rr_qQptdClvym0bZp7CLmvnB_PRtdTyM0uaNQd2YCvfA/s500/khal.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd7cCqgWVYWcthCQvfhm4ZZgV7roDM_BpzQtYCVrA2z6wjT2U2dHEbVefNI6z5xgTFxzxnTv4Ld3ylnI_BygrNd6_EWHdrHN0Rr_qQptdClvym0bZp7CLmvnB_PRtdTyM0uaNQd2YCvfA/s320/khal.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WHERE ARE MY FUCKING NARWHALS?!?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let's start with the basics. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm a woman.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> I'm 28. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm a writer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm bisexual. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm in love with a man. We've been together almost four years. We live together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm still a woman, still 28, still writing. But people seem to think that I'm no longer bisexual. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Why is this? Is it because I don't "look bisexual/queer?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">What does that even look like? Is it this?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixabQ1-Dfxh47Z6R-etWGd13vcM7Yd2iQWqBfvejP-KLuFYPKWGEuEDzxKjQ_7MuGBnDMHaAvChzsFNRPloyaYKa4F2-nlT8wKl_rvBKJh4NA_fBCHNeDnAi0lOvkdzfo7Qqy95-3Knrw/s224/gayseal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixabQ1-Dfxh47Z6R-etWGd13vcM7Yd2iQWqBfvejP-KLuFYPKWGEuEDzxKjQ_7MuGBnDMHaAvChzsFNRPloyaYKa4F2-nlT8wKl_rvBKJh4NA_fBCHNeDnAi0lOvkdzfo7Qqy95-3Knrw/s224/gayseal.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's frustrating having to define myself in this way. "Bisexual but in a monogamous cisgender relationship with a straight guy."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> UGH. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So many words. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Try Googling that when you're looking for other people in the same boat. It's not fun.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">A friend said I refer to myself as a unicorn. And don't get me wrong, unicorns are great.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiWcnIYyU2WxB1h7aVj9h0_vZ0YogWqa7cG66bEuMRQF7-yMbM2c4zX9zQNk7IqdNE1ThQL32EFZ_gTaKNHY7kGNeLp5AYXc4hStWp5dCCqSorwRmjDggQ0w49tZb89kg0fbfoAGX9PC0/s292/unicorn-name-generator.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiWcnIYyU2WxB1h7aVj9h0_vZ0YogWqa7cG66bEuMRQF7-yMbM2c4zX9zQNk7IqdNE1ThQL32EFZ_gTaKNHY7kGNeLp5AYXc4hStWp5dCCqSorwRmjDggQ0w49tZb89kg0fbfoAGX9PC0/s292/unicorn-name-generator.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But queers have already adopted the unicorn as the de facto mascot. Unicorns are in the mainstream. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't believe me?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Fucking gay unicorns were on <i>Glee.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYp5ilBRixPt-i3Iyqm5wCHMkiEKx-8xJfYlZyORtI97d2wihMDsPKY5dp6m03TKE_1Hp9nxspXlbSp9wqzDmpTIpjQ5hnrluiz8lWhOKb7A82FmbZL7rg9jZEtoNrAfIOFJzAJR1i9pQ/s465/unibritt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYp5ilBRixPt-i3Iyqm5wCHMkiEKx-8xJfYlZyORtI97d2wihMDsPKY5dp6m03TKE_1Hp9nxspXlbSp9wqzDmpTIpjQ5hnrluiz8lWhOKb7A82FmbZL7rg9jZEtoNrAfIOFJzAJR1i9pQ/s320/unibritt.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gay unicorn cheerleader. I rest my case. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Which brings me to narwhals.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But why narwhals? </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUIN2bx_PFFHxHdJzolWAjcToJ9_Byh56ssjsSu1GgpnTU-oAjJZtm-7baFU9bcu78lSaBD8dqoQ-p6d25yf2xdzs4glRwHIWBuvgHgz60JcuAi-rwsbX3ISzw0pfVWt28nx3yiwpxONY/s1280/gaywhal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUIN2bx_PFFHxHdJzolWAjcToJ9_Byh56ssjsSu1GgpnTU-oAjJZtm-7baFU9bcu78lSaBD8dqoQ-p6d25yf2xdzs4glRwHIWBuvgHgz60JcuAi-rwsbX3ISzw0pfVWt28nx3yiwpxONY/s320/gaywhal.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I I ruled a country, this would be the flag.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">They're hard to explain. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">They're unusual. They're misunderstood. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">They're like the unicorns of the sea. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Some people don't think they exist. These people are idiots because, obviously, narwhals are everywhere. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Even some unicorns don't believe in narwhals, which is bananas. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXj9SLA9Qi9nl_MZuVzmnjKFPl_vrWLHG5HC16a3Y4XF3giSEYziACKjwG8yh0Y_JExLOOgftLloMZv1LJygYfKQ8lp06qpHEDrJ26bvTlBojjzOzfDSutyUmc1sGVN-WAGuojMi7nmUc/s552/bert.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXj9SLA9Qi9nl_MZuVzmnjKFPl_vrWLHG5HC16a3Y4XF3giSEYziACKjwG8yh0Y_JExLOOgftLloMZv1LJygYfKQ8lp06qpHEDrJ26bvTlBojjzOzfDSutyUmc1sGVN-WAGuojMi7nmUc/s320/bert.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I mean, you're a unicorn! You poop fairy dust!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Is it really that far out of the realm of possibility that you could have a horned cousin swimming around the ice caps?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Get it together, unicorns!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So for now, instead of referring to myself as a "BBIAMCRWASG", I'm just gonna call myself a narwhal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You are all welcome to join my pod. Yeah, packs of narwhals are called pods. Deal with it. </span><br />
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MissScriptyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08354800415777114179noreply@blogger.com2